Demented of Hetton North

I'm going to put an advert in the paper.  I've thought about it all evening, and I'm quite decided.  It's going to say "demented collie urgently seeks break from family members - sheep owner obviously preferred but any reasonable offer considered".  I've been driven to it after another evening in front of the log burner surrounded by overheated dogs.  Surely it's not that hard is it?  When it's gets really hot you move away from the fire, cool down a bit then back for some more toasting...but oh no, not our lot.  Puff, puff pant pant they go all night and Skye, who's certainly old enough to know better is the worst offender of the lot.  While I'm away I'll get a sound monitor because I'm sure her snoring is so loud it's against the law - I won't be able to work with sheep if I've been made deaf, and I certainly won't be able to if I've been arrested for murder...

Apart from that it's still wet and cold outside so we've not had the chance to get back to agility - just as well really because my personal trainer, Pie, is not very happy and getting frustrated with my training progress.  So much so that she is threatening to take me out with her in all weather to see what we can find to chase (still her favourite way to spend 1/2 hour).  Joy, oh joy.  

Now, where's that pen...?

Take care

Pip xxx

 

Daisy grabs the pen...

At last!  It's my turn to do some writing.  Mean old Skye doesn't think anyone will want to hear from me, but I'm not as daft as she thinks you know.  I mean, I know I can be a bit single minded sometimes (at supper-time especially) but at least I'm not a grumpy OLD collie.  

Anyway, this year I'm going to surprise everyone and be really healthy.  I've heard chat about my little tummy getting a bit round so I'm going to try really hard not to snack on anyone else's food (well, unless it looks nicer than mine and you know what they say...a stolen snack tastes the best) and when Pip asks to go off for a walk I'm going to go as well (unless it's wet, or close to supper-time).

The other day we had a great walk and I got really wet.  It wasn't my fault, but what can you do to keep clean when you've been given such little legs?  Nothing, that's what and I love getting mucky as its straight back indoors for a bath.  Ahhhhhh, baths are just dreamy, but they're not quite so good when you've got to watch the collies go first - great big lumbery things that they are.  I like the water good and hot so I can have a proper soak and then straight into my special drying robe while I potter about drying.  I really enjoy my moment of pampering...baths and snacks...what more could you want for a perfect life?

Take care

Daisy

xxxx

Recovering from wash day trauma

Well, we've had a much quieter day today, thank goodness.  I've managed to stay well away from the bath - so far away that I didn't even go into the back hall.  Instead, I evicted the puppy from her bed which is about as far away as you could get short of being lucky enough to get to the upstairs kennel.

Daisy can't see what all the fuss is about - she absolutely loves a bath.  I mean proper squeaking with excitement love.  Pie reckons that some days she even goes out of her way to get grubby just so she gets dunked in the hateful contraption, which is not only strange but also extremely risky if she's wanting to get her usual pampered spot upstairs...we all know that a wet dog is a smelly dog, and a smelly dog doesn't get to upstairs.

Pie's grumbling a bit today - she was out yesterday for ages checking her usual spots, got filthy, but absolutely no 'r' creatures at all.  Now she's worried that she's been too hard on them and is muttering about how nothing's like it was when she was young if even the 'r' creatures are getting fussy about where they stay and disappearing at the first bit of barking...I hope she finds something to run after soon though otherwise I'm worried she might start chasing one of us if she gets too bored. That's all we need.

Anyway, I'm keeping a low profile and am off to rest in the pup's bed - I will be taking my do not disturb sign and (with a warning to little Pie) leaving my sense of humour behind

Take care

Pip xxx

Scrub a dub dub

The day started off quite well really - we've had the log burner on for a while now warming the place up and I managed to sneak into the sitting room for a long lie in.  Bliss.  

Then I ruined it.  I didn't realise it at the time, but I had remembered that it had been all frosty for the last couple of days and thought that a walk out and a bit of a roll in the frost would be just the thing.  The plan was to skip back in with nice clean feet and straight back to the log burner.  So, foolishly as it happened, I pestered to get out.  Skye was highly sceptical - she reckoned she'd seen rain that morning in the forecast and if the garden was all squelchy then surely the fields would be too?  I never listen to Skye.  More fool me...

Anyway, my pestering worked and off we went.  Pie straight round the corner and off, the rest of us slightly slower, and me already thinking that things looked a bit damp.  Well, it was bad, really bad.  We got round the walk alright, but the gates...I've never seen such deep mud and for a while I wondered if we'd ever see Daisy again. Mud on top of the mud, and no frost in sight.

When we got home, I got my comeuppance - three into the bath and me first.  Unlike Fluffy I hate baths.  Even Pie got hers later when she finally crawled home (she hates baths too).  Oh, and just in case you think I can't count because that's only four, think again.  Only four of us needed a bath - old goody four paws (aka Skye) tiptoed round the mud and had such a good go at her feet before coming in that she got straight back to the fire while we spent ages in the back hall drying off.

So, what have I learnt from that?  Don't worry, I shan't suddenly be listening to Skye but I will probably get the puppy to keep an eye on the weather forecast (she loves the telly), and definitely won't move from the log burner unless I can see snow and can guarantee coming in clean.  If in doubt I'll send Pie out first...

Daisy actually enjoys her bath - here she is in her special towelling robe that she wears to dry off

Take care

Pip xxx

Brrr...

It snow joke this weather (see what I did there?  Skye didn't).  We've had snow and freezing temperatures for days now and we're all hoping it's not going to carry on like this for ever.  I mean, how would you like to potter about in bare feet all day?  OK, I know we get central heating, comfy beds and chance to lie in front of the log burner all day but we still like a walk too...there's only so much lazing about a dog can do.

Actually Skye says there's no limit to the amount of lazing about she can do (she calls it recovery time, but from what none of us are too sure). She says she's too old to stray from the fire for any length of time - Pie has timed her at about 5 minutes (only a guess as she hasn't got a watch) and that was only a quick stagger to her supper, wolf that down and stagger back to bed...if there's a medal to be awarded for the world record for idleness, we've found the winner.

The puppy is having a great time though, cold feet or not.  She's not seen much snow and loves running on the crunchy grass. I don't think her feet are touching the ground for long enough to get cold, both she and Pie just chase about together like the lunatics they are.  They'll learn though - I remember the really deep snow we had for ages a couple of years ago - so deep I couldn't run in it and we had to fetch the sheep home in a loader bucket...and me in the quad (the shame...). Ever since that I like to keep my feet as warm as possible...it's the only time I can see some sense in what Skye says.

So here's hoping it warms up soon

Take care

Pip xxx

The case of the missing supper bowl

By Pie.
With some hindrance from the puppy.
And absolutely no help at all from Skye.

I'm in a bit of a panic at the moment.  It was there yesterday, gleaming in the corner, but this morning when it came to breakfast...nothing.  Nada.  Zilch. Only four bowls, and most troubling, only one of them was terrier sized.  I must say, I've never seen Skye dash in so fast when she thought it might be her bowl that was missing but unfortunately it looks like it might be mine.  Which is a problem.  A massive, collie sized problem.  It's a strange one though as no one can remember ever seeing it disappear - I had thought it might be the puppy getting her own back for me for developing such a fantastic fitness plan for Pip, or Daisy thinking she'd get some extra food if it only had to go four ways, but they both said definitely not (even when I offered them the chance to shop each other) so goodness knows what's happened to it. Anyway, I'm off out hunting now so I've had to ask Daisy to have a look for it - she's the only one I can trust to keep thinking about supper all day and she's horrified that there might be a thief about to steal her bowl, so she's on the case.

...Not much of a hunting day to be honest, too worried to concentrate, but all's well now.  What a relief.  It turned out that someone (mentioning no names, but it begins with M) had hidden it in the oven.  We never even thought about looking there and it's such a useless thing - we hate our food hot - I think we should get rid of it.

Take care

Pie xx

Agility day

Well, that's one way to try to even things up with the puppy.  We went off to agility together this morning, she and I, and both of us were really looking forward to it.  I mean, you would wouldn't you?  Chance to run and run and run with a bit of jumping as well - fantastic.  The only way you could improve it would be to put a few sheep in the corner of the field as well.  Which is a thought...

So, off we went and had a great time, but, oh dear, the pup was getting her gangly legs all tangled up and muddy after all the rain which was all that was needed to give a wise old slowcoach like me a good chance.  I don't need asking twice I can tell you, and I'm going to make the most of it!

When we got back home, everyone was very sympathetic.  Gangly she might have been but that didn't make as much impact as I thought it might and it was humble pie for me....for now anyway.  I didn't get where I was by giving up that easily.  Pie says she will up the training program for me (which is a worry) and devise some cunning tricks for me to use on the course.  I told her I'm not wanting to cheat but she never stays in one place long enough to have a decent conversation (unless is on a knee) and was off and away by then.  Mayhem to be caused.  Pie's the name...

Daisy took me to one side later - she thinks that maybe food will solve the problem - she reckons a good supper always makes things better, and if not, maybe she could slip the pup something dodgy the night before.  Trouble is, Daisy making sure she was eating might put her off.  Anyway, what am I thinking? She's my puppy.  I'll just have to get my brain in gear...this needs some proper thought to solve and I'm the girl for that.

Meanwhile it looks like it's Pie's boot camp for me.

Take care

Pip xxx